Consider a teller with glasses, bad skin, bad hair...
Not something you'd expect...
Yeah, that's right, kinda "ugly betty-ish", as in THE stereotypical
ugly, you-know-who!
(Well, how about that for a first blog entry for 2009!)
These past few weeks my immediate supervisor
is growing an obsession on me...In vernacular she's "nang gi gigil".
I don't know how to translate it!
She's been saying that I have hidden beauty.
and here's the big IF. As in, she said, if only I change my looks...
You see, even though my mom would probably
insist that I'm pretty considering my pimple-stricken, acne scarred face,
plus the glasses and the frizzy hair and unruly brows,
I don't think a lot of people would agree with her! Also, my boss hates it when my hair is down.
And just this morning I decided to cut it a bit short.
I'm fine with that...
I've accepted it as a matter fact!.
One client told me: "Siguro kaya nagkaganyan ang mukha mo dahil sa boyfriend mo, noh?"
another one even said: "Siya na lang pala ang single sa inyo, pero parang mas may asawa na sya?"
I also remember, back in College when my friend said something about my poke marked face
just to get back at me.
...My skin is not just acne scarred it has also grown thick
with those kind of comments...
Although at times I would think, yeah IF only my face did not scar from pimples.
If only my vision was a lot better, If only I could look people in the eye a lot more
and not be afraid that they probably think I'm ugly as can be...
Also, my officemate has been saying the same thing. They said they will
fully support me in doing an extreme makeover...Which also reminds me
of a reality TV Show where some selected people get to have a free full
cosmetic surgery...
I kinda understand them, I mean they probably cannot stand having me around.
They're face are clear, my boss evven if she's old she's got great skin.
I tell myself that I'm not affected anymore by criticisms like that.
It's my fault, I have bad genes. We didn't have money before to go to the doctor
whenever I get to have breakouts, and my mom pointed me to an aesthetician, who aggravated my situation and then came the deep scars, which were not just physical.
I don't really know what to come of it...
I'm really sorry.
I can't seem to write anything without ranting.
People may find my dilemma petty. Because, I'm sure there a lot of bigger problems
in the country, in our world today than my poke-marked face.
Well, everything happens for a reason.
And, this is probably the universe's way of molding me...
Through my pain, I am reminded to be tactful and careful with other people's
feelings...Through this, I am reminded to be compassionate with other people
who's got the same situation as I am or probably worse...
I just hope that I will be able to find a way for me to
express myself a lot better, without being shy about my face.
I am struggling, but I'm trying, everyday...
Also, didn't the original story of Betty La Fea (Ugly Betty) ended
with something positive...
P.S.
My dermatologist said that I take this drug. But it's got side-effects. If you get pregnant while with the medication your child will definitely have birth defects. Also, it has some liver side-effects and severe dryness of skin will also result. So he said I should first take some series of blood test and pregnancy test just to make sure. Then he'll have me with this drug. I researched about the drug. 69-75% acne remision with just 16-20 weeks of taking it.
Yeah, that's right, kinda "ugly betty-ish", as in THE stereotypical
ugly, you-know-who!
(Well, how about that for a first blog entry for 2009!)
These past few weeks my immediate supervisor
is growing an obsession on me...In vernacular she's "nang gi gigil".
I don't know how to translate it!
She's been saying that I have hidden beauty.
and here's the big IF. As in, she said, if only I change my looks...
You see, even though my mom would probably
insist that I'm pretty considering my pimple-stricken, acne scarred face,
plus the glasses and the frizzy hair and unruly brows,
I don't think a lot of people would agree with her! Also, my boss hates it when my hair is down.
And just this morning I decided to cut it a bit short.
I'm fine with that...
I've accepted it as a matter fact!.
One client told me: "Siguro kaya nagkaganyan ang mukha mo dahil sa boyfriend mo, noh?"
another one even said: "Siya na lang pala ang single sa inyo, pero parang mas may asawa na sya?"
I also remember, back in College when my friend said something about my poke marked face
just to get back at me.
...My skin is not just acne scarred it has also grown thick
with those kind of comments...
Although at times I would think, yeah IF only my face did not scar from pimples.
If only my vision was a lot better, If only I could look people in the eye a lot more
and not be afraid that they probably think I'm ugly as can be...
Also, my officemate has been saying the same thing. They said they will
fully support me in doing an extreme makeover...Which also reminds me
of a reality TV Show where some selected people get to have a free full
cosmetic surgery...
I kinda understand them, I mean they probably cannot stand having me around.
They're face are clear, my boss evven if she's old she's got great skin.
I tell myself that I'm not affected anymore by criticisms like that.
It's my fault, I have bad genes. We didn't have money before to go to the doctor
whenever I get to have breakouts, and my mom pointed me to an aesthetician, who aggravated my situation and then came the deep scars, which were not just physical.
I don't really know what to come of it...
I'm really sorry.
I can't seem to write anything without ranting.
People may find my dilemma petty. Because, I'm sure there a lot of bigger problems
in the country, in our world today than my poke-marked face.
Well, everything happens for a reason.
And, this is probably the universe's way of molding me...
Through my pain, I am reminded to be tactful and careful with other people's
feelings...Through this, I am reminded to be compassionate with other people
who's got the same situation as I am or probably worse...
I just hope that I will be able to find a way for me to
express myself a lot better, without being shy about my face.
I am struggling, but I'm trying, everyday...
Also, didn't the original story of Betty La Fea (Ugly Betty) ended
with something positive...
P.S.
My dermatologist said that I take this drug. But it's got side-effects. If you get pregnant while with the medication your child will definitely have birth defects. Also, it has some liver side-effects and severe dryness of skin will also result. So he said I should first take some series of blood test and pregnancy test just to make sure. Then he'll have me with this drug. I researched about the drug. 69-75% acne remision with just 16-20 weeks of taking it.
No comments:
Post a Comment