While my mom is busy making noise with coins and chanting goodluck charms, Here's my 2009 New Year To-do-list
1. Get a dog. My relationship skills sucks. I mean really, I suck, I'm such an anti-social that I think I don't really deserve to be around people, even my family and relatives. And so, I thought maybe I should buy a dog. Just like my friend Tin. Who by the way is really good at everything. She's got a poodle who really loves her. I wish just that, that even only a poodle could love me too. I dog would be a start. I think if I could take care of him/her i might be able to find some harmonious relationship with the people around me.
2. Learn how to play the guitar or piano. I've been inspired by Jason Wade, Jason Mraz and Rob Thomas, I've been watching them perform on Youtube lately. I think they're really amazing. I think it's a good diversion. I could probably get away from being such a loser. I might find my talent. My only problem right now is who could teach me how to choose a guitar. That's my first step, owning a guitar. I've already looked for interesting Guitar sites and books, but choosing a guitar seems a bit difficult. But I think I'll get by...
3. Learn the secret of the RUBIK's Cube. I already learned how to solve one face of the cube, but I'm still getting the hang of it. I really think that even if it's a bit nerdy to be able to do the Rubik's cube, I still think it's an amazing skill which i could someday share to someone. I mean, I could at leats look cool and interesting to some people. Help me rid with my anti-socialish facade.
4. Always post a blog entry. i feel I have this communication problem. I can't seem to connect with people around me, especially those that matters to me. I think they see me as an idealistic biatch who can't give some slack on anything. They also see me as a kill-joy nagger. And so, I resolve not to talk much and just write what I feel on my anonymous blog.
5. Spend more time meeting my old friends. I would try to reach out to my friends. My old friends who knew me as I am. Those that do not judge and can break the walls in front of me. It would be nice to share some of my experiences to them and theirs to me. It's also a nice venue where I could at least feel normal again. In this world of strangers, I usually feel an alien trapped.
6. Try to finish reading some books. I have 2 or 3 new books which I started reading but I could not seem to finish. It speaks well of my mind as of the year that was...undecided, unfinished without any purpose...
7. Always smile even if times are tough. I am a very transparent person. I usually find it hard to hide what I feel. I'm usually feeling gloomy. I wear dark unnoticeable clothes, because I don't want to be seen, and i rarely smile just because...I joke a lot but people don't usually find it funny. So I resolve to smile when I joke about something, or better yet to say that i'm just joking, so people won't find what I said offensive. I resolve to smile at least everytime I wake up in the morning and before i go to sleep at night.
8. Enroll in a CPA review School. To tell you frankly I think I lost any enthusiatic vein that would push me to further take the CPA exam. I know it's not that good, but I am really contemplating on just letting it be. But, something in me also wants to go for it...Time would tell, but in the meantimeI will at least try to read some Review books again.
9. Avoid spending too much. I'm not really much of a spender. I only spend as much on clothes and shoes because I need to. I haven't gotten my uniform, so I need to look presentable. I also spend a lot on acne surgery and facials. Also because the need to look presentable and yes, to help my self-esteem which has been deeply scared by many circumstances. But, I think I would at least minimize my being so generous to people. Sometimes i'm really really generous that my mom thinks I have such huge paycheck every month. She tends to demand giving her more.
10. Pursue sketching/ drawing/ painting. I'll once again try to tap some talent in me which I thought have been really dormant. when i was a kid my dad thought I have that gift. Maybe i could discover something in me which is positive and beautiful...
All in all I feel kinda positive with the coming year ...
I just hope I'll be able to grow and mature more than last year (not just in height and stuff).
I should be able to pursue my deepest and heartfelt goals in life...
I hope my heart and the universe will guide me through and through...
Happy New Year!!!
